Death Survey (120-01)

(name withheld by request)

Houston, Texas (Survey Date: March 3, 2002)

Was there ever a time when...

Yes. August 1990. [I was] 34 years old, married.

I had gone into the hospital for surgery. I felt at home there at St. Luke's because I had been working there for about a year. I had started in July 1989. I was seeing Dr. Dale Brown because he was so highly recommended. But I had to have my left ovary and tube removed, which was a surgery that required 4 and a half hours of surgery, because they were saying that it was so integrated inside, I guess you might say because of adhesions and endometriosis. So it's quite difficult to separate everything and remove the left fallopian tube and ovary. I'm sure I was under Anastasia for some time, so it was probably still in my body at the time. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it or not. The third day post-op, because the surgery was done on a Friday, and this was on a Monday evening, I was sitting eating dinner, and all of a sudden my lips started getting numb. My head felt really funny, and I just felt really strange. I called for the nurse. The nurse came in, and started taking my vital signs. She had taken them 30 minutes prior to that, but everything had significantly changed. So she went and called the doctor on call, or the resident, which was not my doctor. And they came in, and she was very nervous, which made me very nervous. I guess she was one of these kind who didn't react real well under pressure. But I might do the same thing, I don't know. The doctor came in, and ordered these tests. And what they suspected was that I had a pulmonary embolism which happens many times after surgery, especially after reproductive surgery, or orthopedic surgery. So, they can in the room and started doing blood gasses, chest x-ray, started a heparin drip on me. I was not a nurse at the time, so I don't know all that much about medical things, but I did know that had they explained a little bit more to me about what was going on, I might not have been as frightened. It was not communicated to me they way it should have been. The first thing that I did was call my husband, who was working in Lake Jackson, who is my x-husband now. I told him what was going on, and that he probably needs to get to the hospital. So he left work. In the mean time, my mother had called me and I told her what was going on, so she got really excited and upset. Because she called my sister who was an RN. My sister called me and she really did good calling me because she was very very calm. And she help me calm down. And I'll always remember that because she explained to me more about what was going on and her reassuring tone and calm voice calmed me down a lot. Then my x-husband got there. He was on one side of the bed, and the resident was on the other side, and they were talking across the bed as if I wasn't even there. They were saying if we find an embolism in the lung, we're going to have to do surgery tonight. And we're going to take her up to nuclear-medicine and do a bone scan and see what's going on. I guess I did know that a blood clot can kill you, and I knew it must be pretty serious. The thing is, at the point that the nurse got me excited I think I began hyper-ventilating, so that made things even worse. I was on oxygen by now. It's not funny, but I can laugh now.

What were your thoughts at the time?

I was very scared. The thing that was going though my mind is that I'm not ready to die yet. I'm only 34 years old. I haven't had any children yet, I haven't done anything. The main thing I was thinking, I haven't done anything for God. You know, I've had all these years, and I've really wasted them, because I haven't done anything. I started praying, and I know you're not supposed to bargain with God, but I was saying God let me live, and if I can live, maybe there is something I can do before I die. I knew I was going to start crying. But anyway, I knew the ladies that were called in to do my nuclear lung scan. They were on call, and they were at home and they were called in, and I could smell alcohol on their breath, and I probably could have gotten them in a lot of trouble. I had on green pajamas. And when they were putting me on the stretcher, they said "Oh, look at the little leprechaun." I thought that was very rude. They were not nice to me at all, because I guess they were angry that they had to come in. I should have reported it. I really regret that now because they treat other people the same way. They were probably partying and relaxing at home and having a drink or whatever, and they had to come in and do this, and it irritated them, so they took it out on me. And I was so scared, I mean I didn't need that at all. I was up there, afraid I was going to die, and I was getting a scan done. And I thought I'm going to be up here all by myself, and I'm going to die and nobody is going to be near me, or anything.

They brought me back to the room. They never really ruled out an embolism. They think I probably passed a small one. They kept me on heparin (a blood thinner, to dissolve the clot) all that night, and I never went to sleep that night. Because I was afraid, that if I went to sleep I would never wake up again. You know, I was lacking faith in the Lord, after I'd prayed too, which is a very normal human thing to do. That's the only time I ever really thought I was going to die. It was very frightening to me and I didn't want to lose my family, and I didn't want to leave here thinking I hadn't done anything.

Final thoughts?

I never forgot that night, the prayer that I prayed. I went on and pursued a nursing career so I could work there at St. Luke's, so I could help people. And now I have gotten the opportunity to help many women who are post-gyn. Like I was that day, and I've always tried to remain calm with them, and make them feel safe. And that's always my prayer, everyday when I work. And I was never able to have children, but now I help other women who have babies.

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