Inside Warehouse 23 (190)
This is the miscellanious section. Just a collection of my personal ramblings and some fun stuff that isn't really categorized.
Tax Cuts for the Wealthy
(from:
T. Davies
Professor of Accounting &
Chair, Division of Accounting and Business Law
The University of South Dakota School of Business
414 E. Clark Street
Vermillion, SD 57069 )
George Bush, Jr., tried to explain this to Al Gore and the audience at one of the presidential debates
..........I don't think they got it.
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This is a VERY simple way to understand the tax laws. Read on - it does make you think!!
Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner.
The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...
The first four men-the poorest-would pay nothing;
the fifth would pay $1, the sixth would pay $3, the seventh $7,
the eighth $12, the ninth $18,and the tenth man-the richest-would pay $59.
That's what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant
every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement-until one day,
the owner threw them a curve (in tax language, a tax cut).
"Since you are all such good customers," he said,
"I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20."
So now dinner for the ten only cost $80.00. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way
we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free.
But what about the other six-the paying customers?
How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"
The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted
that from everybody's share, Then the fifth man and The sixth man would
end up being PAID to eat their meal. So the restaurant owner suggested
that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount,
and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh
paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with
a bill of $52 instead of his earlier $59. Each of the six was better off than
before. And the first four continued to eat for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man, but he, pointing
to the tenth. "But he got $7!". "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man, "I
only saved a dollar, too, ........It's unfair that he got seven times more
than me!". That's true!" shouted the seventh man, why should
he get $7 back when I got only $2?" The wealthy get all the breaks!". Wait a
minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the
poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn't show up for dinner,
so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill,
they discovered, a little late what was very important.
They were FIFTY-TWO DOLLARS short of meeting the bill!
Imagine that!
And THAT, boys and girls, journalists and college instructors, is how the tax system works.
The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much,
attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.
Where would that leave the rest? Unfortunately, most taxing authorities
anywhere cannot seem to grasp this rather straight forward logic!
Who's On First
Do you remember the old Abbott and Castello "Who's on First" bit?
If so, you know it goes on for sometime, if you listen to the entire thing. Live five minutes or so.
Anyway, I always loved it, because both of them made perfect sense, but neither of them understood the other.
Soon I'll have the script here for you. But for now, in case your curious about "Who's on First",
and what the other players names are...here they are.
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WHO
WHAT
I DON'T KNOW
TODAY
TOMORROW
I DON'T GIVE A DARN
WHY
BECAUSE
(this is the only unnamed position in the bit)
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Watch the video on YouTube, or read the whole bit by clicking here.
This has to be what inspired the Johnny Carson/Jack Web bit, the Copper Clapper Caper. This is classic Carson, and well worth a listen.
Names of Military Aircraft
Ever wonder what the given nick name of various military aircraft are? I always did for some reason. So with my military memory summoned, and others I've collected over the years, here is the latest list I have.
F4 Phantom
C4A Starlifter
C5A Galaxie
KC135 Stratotanker (Boing 707)
KC10 Extender (DC10)
B2 Spirit
B52 Stratofortress
T37/A37 Dragonfly
T38 Talon
F101 Voodoo
F104 Starfighter
F15 Eagle
F14 Tomcat
A7 Corsair
A10 Thunderbolt II (Wart Hog)
C130 Hercules
F16 Fighting Falcon
F20 Tiger Shark
C9A Nightingale (DC9)
E-3 Sentry
E-8 Joint Starts
RC139 Rivit Joint
U2 Dragonlady
RQ-4A Global Hawk
The World's Easiest Quiz
1) How long did the Hundred Year War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) What country do Chinese gooseberries come from?
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?
Answers:
1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453
2) Ecuador
3) From sheep and horses
4) November...The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours
5) Squirrel fur
6) The Latin name was Insurlaria Canaria -- Island of the Dogs
7) Albert...When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert
8) Distinctively crimson
9) New Zealand
10) Thirty years, of course (from 1618 to 1648)
Keep This List Handy
(from: Chloe Dittloff, thanks Chloe)
The most destructive Habit
The greatest joy
The greatest loss
The most satisfying work
The ugliest persanality trait
The most endagerered species
Our greatest natural resource
The greatest "shot in the arm"
The greatest problem to overcome
The most effective sleeping pill
The most crippling failure disease
The most powerful force in life
The most dangerous pariah
The world's most incredible computer
The worst thing to be without
The deadliest weapon
The two most power-filled words
The greatest asset
The most worthless emotion
The most beautiful attire
The most prized possession
The most powerful channel of communication
The most contagious spirit
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Worry
Giving
Loss of self-respect
Helping others
Selfishness
Dedicated leaders
Our youth
Encouragement
Fear
Peace of mind
Excuses
Love
A gossiper
The brain
Hope
The tongue
"I can"
Faith
Self-pity
SMILE
Integrity
Prayer
Enthusiasm
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"Life has many choices, Eternity has two!"
What A Life !!
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Author: The Family Dog.
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, though no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
Then you are probably the family dog.
Working Together Requires Work
1. You have the work that was inteded for you, not your co-workers. GET YOUR OWN WORK DONE.
2. With love in your heart you can love anybody, even those who do not love you.
3. Don't compromise yourself and your relationship with God by trying to be like your co-workers.
4. Don't let the actions of your co-workers create in you a spirit of ungodliness.
5. Reach out to your co-workers instead of trying to turn and run away. Let God be the judge of what they do; Focus on how you can help.
6. Can you accomplish your job without the help of others? Can others accomplish their jobs without your help? Everone has a job to do, and no one's job is more important than the others.
7. Your co-workers are your brothers and sisters. Help and love them as though you were members of a family. Love your co-works as you love yourself.
8. You spend more time with your co-workers than with anyone else in your life. Find a way to make the best use of the time together.
9. Remember, we are all human and have our faults.
10. Demonstrate in the workplace the same compassions God shows you.
The Two Cow Theory
Political Philosophies Explained in Simple "Two Cow" Terms
Socialism
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
Communism
You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.
Bureaucracy
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull and pretty soon you have a herd.
Corporate
You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.
Democracy
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
ENRON EXPLAINED: In case you were wondering how Enron came into so much
trouble, here is an explanation reputedly given by a Colorado Aggie
professor to explain it in terms his students could understand.
Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron Venture Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Now do you see why a company with $62 billion in assets is declaring bankruptcy?
The Buffalo Theory
(a forwarded email)
Subject: Fw: FW : The Buffalo Theory
I have not seen anyone explain this as well as Cliff Clavin, on the sitcom Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory To his buddy Norm. And here's how it went:
The Buffalo Theory
"Well ya see Nam, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.
And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members."
"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why.....................you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Seen written on the men's room wall at the YMCA, Waco Texas.
"Please don't throw butts in the urnals. It makes them soggy and hard to light."
AC vs. DC
The two different ways that electricity is produced is by either a direct
current or an alternating current. The two are used for extremely
different purposes. However, one can be converted into the other.
The first and simpler of the two is direct current, or commonly referred
to as DC. This is the type of electricity that is produced in batteries,
static, and lightning. With DC, a voltage is created, possibly stored,
until a circuit is completed. When completed, the current flows in one
direction at a specific, constant voltage. When one uses almost any type
of portable or battery powered device, they are using a direct current.
Most DC circuits are relatively low in voltage.
The alternating current, or AC, is the more complex of the two types of
electricity. It is the electricity you get from your house's wall and that
you use to power most of your in-home electrical appliances. This
electricity, as opposed to DC, is not provided as a single, constant
voltage. It is instead produced as a sine wave that over a certain amount
of time goes from zero to its maximum value, minimum value, and then
repeats the cycle again.
While direct current is generally described by its voltage, alternating
current requires a more detailed description. Because the positive and
negative wave values would seem to cancel each other out, with AC you have
to calculate the RMS (root mean square) average of the voltage. It is
basically an average of the alternating current waveform.
The Many Names of God (I once thought I had a complete list, but then found another list of these and more, totalling 102 different names. These are just some of them.)
God | Isaiah 40:3 |
King of Kings | Revelation 19:16 |
Emmanuel | Matt 1:23 |
Lord of Lords | Revelation 19:16 |
Redeemer | Psalmes 78:35 |
Lamb of God | John 1:29 |
Jesus Christ | John 1:17, Matt. 1:1 |
Rock | Psalms 19:14 |
Son | Matt. 3:17 |
Alpha and Omega | Revelation 22:13 |
Master | Mark 9:5 |
Savior | Luke 2:11 |
Shepherd | John 10:11 |
Fortress | Psalms 18:2 |
Deliverer | 2 Samuel 22:2 |
The Way, The Truth and The Life | John 14:6 |
Jehovah | Exodus 6:3 |
Messiah (meaning Christ) | John 1:14 |
Word | John 1:1 |
Wonderful Counselor | Isaiah 9:6 |
Mighty God | Isaiah 9:6 |
Everlasting Father | Isaiah 9:6 |
Prince of Peace | Isaiah 9:6 |
Yahweh (the Hebrew name of God used in scripture, meaning set-apart) | |
Heavenly Father | Matt. 5:48 |
Comforter (my favorite) | John 14;26 |
"I AM" (this is the name God gave Himself) | Exodus 3:14 |
Holy Spirit | John 14:26 |
Holy One | Isaiah 41:14 |
Lord of Hosts | Isaiah 47:4 |
Lion of Judah | Rev. 5:5 |
Ruler over Israel | Micah 5:2 |
Hosanna | Matt. 21:9 |
Modern day Jehovah's Witnesses and those who don't believe in the Holy Trinity (those who don't believe Jesus is God) should read these verses from scripture:
John 1:1 and 1:14."...and the Word was God.", and "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling amoung us."
Titus 2:13 "our Great God and Savior, Jesus Christ"
John 20:28 "my Lord and my God!" (the disciple Thomas is speaking, after placing his hand in Jesus' wounded side).
Isaiah 9:6 "The mighty God"
John 10:30 "I and the Father are One"
John 10:33 "...you, a mere man, claim to be God." (reason the priests said Jesus was being stoned).
And finally, they should know that "Jesus" means Yahweh, the personal name of God (God saves).
Don't Reach for the Banana
The Parable of the Monkey and the Banana
This came from a site by the name of quantumphilosophy.net.
It'll make you think (that's a good thing).
One day, not long ago, four monkeys were placed in a steel cage.
Dangling from a rope in the the center of the cage was a ripe, luscious
banana.
Each time one of the monkeys would reach for the banana, torrents of cold
water would fall from above, drenching all of the monkeys and making them
miserable.
Over time, all four of the monkeys learned that to reach for the banana
meant to spend the following night cold, shivering and miserable.
One day the keepers of the cage came and replaced one of the monkeys with
a new one. Immediately the new monkey would go for the banana, hoping for
a quick and easy meal. Just as quickly the other monkeys, knowing what
reaching for the banana meant to all of them, would grab the new monkey
and restrain it before it could grab the banana and bring misery to them
all. They knew what would happen if the banana was grasped, and none of
them like it.
Over time, this process was repeated. Each of the original monkeys would
be replaced, the new monkey would go for the banana, and the other monkeys
would quickly abort the attempt through direct force.
This process continued until no monkey was left in the cage that knew why
the banana shouldn't be grasped, only that it was bad. This cultural
knowledge was passed from monkey to monkey until it became ingrained into
the caged monkey community.
Then one day a monkey showed up with an umbrella. He immediately went for
the banana.
He was torn limb from limb by the others for violating their most sacred
tradition.
The umbrella was left, untouched, and unused in a forgotten corner.
The banana continued to hang harmlessly from the roof of the cage.
The monkeys continued on, as if nothing had changed.
"Being blind and ignorant is one thing, but being blind to your ignorance is fatal. "-- John McCrarey
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